Monday, May 04, 2009


Ask myself, when is th last time i ever take " FAMILY PHOTO " ? browse through my pictures i can't even find a family photo, either mum not inside or dad missing, I still have to dig out my bag & search for one family photo, I know i am very different from others, i don't have a proper family & happy family which other have. Want to blame just have to thank god giving me this " HAPPY FAMILY " & make me cried when i miss them,
Daddy : know how much i miss you? Just now meimei tell me you make yourself drunk cos of those words i said, i almost burst into tears, but i din, i know im a big girl le, i know what im doing, i know i should not cry anymore, i know i should go out work & stop taking your money, not i dunwn go bk 201 you understand? I miss you so much, night i even cried, i miss you, i miss you! Im crying now, i cant keep back my tears anymore, im not tt strong tt you think of, I know you might too strict toward me, what you scare of is i turn to become a rotten apple, i know. But as you know my temper, th more you tighten me, th more i wan losen it. you understand? idk why im so scare of you, i cnt face you, whenever my phone rang & i see ur name appear on ti, i dont even dare to pick th calls, either you call me tell me go bk or what. why you wan to force me to do thing i dont like at all? I know it has been 3month i din even step into th house & call you dad, i know you miss your phone ringing & appear my name on it, i know it has been 3 month you din even get to see me or hear my voice, I wanted to look for you, but i dont dare, i dont have th courage to call you to text you. Whatever i did or what you dislike, you either scold me or hit me, that why. i ask you , " will you accept now de joleen ? " if you would i dont even care, i dont even scare of going bk, i can;t turb bk th joleen that help you sell clothes, went home everyday, say daddy i love you everytime. im sorry i cnt, in your hearts i know i still a kids, i small kids that dont know anything, but you should know times changes, & my mind changes too, Sigh* idk how to communicate w you, I miss you dad, really miss :{ i wanted to hug you now & forever, i din blame you for giving me this kinda of family, But what i want also not money, is " love " i cnt even sense family love from all of you all, that why.I Love you daddy


Mummy : i know i have change indeed so much, i dont even wan to go home, i hate home so much, when ever i step into it i hate it so much, idk why. Home was just a place for me to sleep? know what, i keep make myself busy so i wont think so much, i hate listening to sad song i hate tears dripping out form my eye, i hate it, you know! i know you love me, i know what ever i did now you wont even scold me, but idk why i cnt face you all, idk idk idk why. im so happy that i sick you would even call home & ask me how am i, you wont even do this in th past, i know you love me, but problem not lies on you, is me :{ what happen to your precious baobei joleen? please giv me everything i wans, sigh*


Both lovelies meimei : it has been so long i bring both all you go out & play , im so happen this weekend, i bring you 2 out, i saw my meimei smiling & have fun, i already tried my best to make both of you smile, im so sad, i dont even plays a parts of "jiejie " im so sorry, when im drowning you 2 will scold hankuan say better take care of me if not he will be dead, went bugis i keep scold both of you & tell u all do this do tt, yet both of u nvr even say anything, i know going out w me is boring & many more, but i already tried my v.best le :( know jiejie miss those time staying at 201? I miss my meimei (s) Laughter & many more, th 3 of us will always go here go der tgt, nvr been seperate, we 3 will stand tgt & bully others, i know both of you alr trys wadever u cn do giv me le, i appriciate so much thanks meimei. Be guai guai kay, dont walk my step im walking now, it not happy at all, instead you all are making so many people hate you all & i seem to be smiling & having so much fun, but im still not happy uh. Guaiguai kay, i cnt guide you all everytime like how i guide you all last time, hope you 2 think twice kay, studies hard, swmark.s
wondering when will us be like th past do everything tgt, i know what ever thing happen family always be th ones suppporting me not friend, i know this, is was liek finally i know. wondering will us be seperate in 3 yr time? 5 yr times? when everyone got their own partner ? Hais, as you girl cn see, we are drifting apart now, i dunwn this so~

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