You know i hate this kind of life?

which wake up, play computer, time up get ready to work?

Not because of money i won't work, not because i don't want stay at home keep thinking of him i won't work.

Not because i have this kind of fucking family i won't work too.

Anybody really seen me smiling v.happily like before? Because i lost th boy i loved th most.

Don't everyone found out after he is gone i lost my true smile?

What is th point of getting him back to me & his heart was no longer w me.

Work really gave me too much stress, do wrong thing boss not happy. Customer say me.

& why whenever i'm working i'll lost my soul there, idk what i'm doing too.

It has been almost a month, why can't i just forget him.

Why JoleenTanXinYun so useless.

I keep tell myself " forget him, & start anew" but why can't i do it?

Jie, did you really realise i cried inside th cab just now? Not because i miss him.

Because i'm really sick of this life, not i don't want work, not i lazy.

Because just now you wana hug me, i don't want & i almost make you cried.

Do you know how dishearted i'm when i saw you like this?

You know everynight i really can't sleep, because i keep think of him, yet you don't even bother about me, you din even think of coming back home & pei me.

You know at night i'll anyhow think, yet you din even bother to pei me too.

Why i just can't have a person who really make me smile, make me forgot him.

I wanted to smile happily like th past, but i always failed to.

Jie,Meimei,LunPapa,Ahyi,Kit & many more, when did you all see me really smile v.happily like last time, when i have him.

I wana to act strong in front of you all, just by saying i hate him, & i've forgotten him.

I hate my mum, i hate her because of her we are homeless. Because of my father mother i don't have a wonderful family.

It has been 5years plus, i keep blaming you all, know how much i hate both of you for giving me this fucking family?

Know how much i miss both of you?

So what if i have my freedom to go anywhere i like, what i want not freedom, Is LOVE.

Why my life so fucking bored & no life?

I've nobody to turn to, idk who to talk when something really trouble me.

Wanted to call meimei, but she fall asleep.

Reach home, i don't know why suddenly my heart feel so sour & eventually i cried.

I hate this kind of feeling, my heart so pain, anyone to share my pain with?

I really hates to talk after he is gone, Jie keep asking me " why so moody "

Not moody, is idk why i really got no mood, i really tried my v.best to forget him, since he's so flirt, since his heart was no longer w me.

Anybody really got some ways to teach me what to do?

I'm lost, fucking lost.